My intuition provided a subtle hint that life was going to change drastically after I met my favorite artist, Erykah Badu. I know many people think she is a nut, but it is only because she is too real and so true to herself. As I hugged her after taking my picture, she whispered, "It is no coincidence that we are meeting each other today." This is a statement that she echoed during her entire meet and greet. I understand that she is a symbol of empowerment and understanding what it really means to love yourself.
After meeting her, I realized that I needed to understand what makes me happy and what doesn't. As I began to take an introspective look at things, I realized that I have been unhappy in my relationship for a long time. Misery had nestled so deep in my soul until I did not notice a change in my aura. However, everyone else did. Thankfully, my ex-boyfriend made my decision to leave easier once I learned of the complete disregard for the relationship and me from a social networking site. I am not going to sit here and lie like that didn't hurt. It stung for a minute, but my mother and my little brother happened to be staying with me during that time. Their support and love eased the pain. Even though, I do not have a romantic type of love for my family, I know that love does not hurt, and it is not negligent.
As I begin to evolve, I went through some very strange emotions. I learned somethings about myself and others in my inner circle; some things were so obvious I never noticed them before. Can love really be that blind? But I digress, and I will save that for another posting.
Shortly after terminating my amorous avocation, I received my Master's in Engineering Management. I was surrounded by family and friends; and for the first time in months, I was relieved, I was happy. My happiness was short-lived once my family left. It gave me too much time to analyze everything that transpired over the last few months. I will admit being in a relationship makes one too comfortable with bullshit (and no there is not better word other than bullshit for what I am describing...sorry). Don't get me wrong, I have beautiful memories from the relationship, but in this case, the ugly stuff between us was a ugly as the little creature on the Lord of the Rings.
I went through withdrawal from having a normal fix of human contact, but even that was short-lived. I talked it out with friends and I cried it out with God and I started my healing process. During the midst of this soul searching, God revealed all is glory and beauty to me. I was awestruck by the sight of a brilliant rainbow with lightning striking around it. As conceited as it may sound, I felt that it was a reflection of beauty and power, a reflection of me.
Needless to say, once I began to recover, I was faced with another hurdle, the death of distance friend. We would chat occasionally through social networking mediums and talk about our lives and how we should all get together. I selfishly thought had more time and that time is on my side. Sometimes it isn't. Patience is a virtue, but time is constantly wasting. We really do not have until tomorrow to tell people how we feel or that we love them.
That was the month of June...
